Confessions of a Fitness Instructor

Hi Bloggies!  I hope you’ve been having a spectacular day

Today I decided I’d write a post about something we all deal with – insecurities.  No matter who you are, regardless of size, status or beauty insecurities are something we all have in common.  Normally we try to hide that which make us insecure, even though for the most part what thing that bothers us so much means very little – or even nothing – to everyone else.  I can’t tell you how many times people have told me they’d like to wear sleeveless shirts or shorts in exercise class but don’t like the way their arms look because they think they’re flabby, or their legs are too white – whatever the reason, nobody else is thinking about it, especially at an exercise class!  They are much too worried about what they are doing, and their own insecurities to be worried about yours.

I certainly have my own share of insecurities.  One of mine is my nose.  It use to bother me much more than it does now.  It looks fine from the front, but from the side you can see I’ve got a bump in my nose from when I got hit in the nose by a hockey puck as a teenager.  So I always try to have my photo taken head on so you don’t notice the bump.  I used to spend so much time worrying about it, I would see other people with similar noses and I would think theirs looked fine – but not mine.  I am still a bit insecure about it, but nothing compared to how it used to be.  Another of mine is my teeth.  One of my front teeth overlaps the other and is slightly crooked.  This bothers me to no end.  It affects the way I smile in photos, and is one thing I am still very insecure about.

Probably my biggest insecurity is my stomach.  Not because of the size of it or anything like that, but because of what is on it.  A 7 inch scar.  When I was 17 I had an ovarian cyst (which is a story for another day), but to make a long story short I had to have abdominal surgery in order to have it removed.  It was big – 10 lbs.  The surgeon said it was like delivering a c-section, except there was no baby, just a big cyst of ickiness.  Because of the size, and the fact that it took up my entire abdominal cavity the incision had to be vertical going right up the centre of my stomach and taking a detour around my belly button.  The scar has faded considerable over the years, but it is still a pretty wide scar, and very evident when you see my stomach.  I guess it’s not even the scar itself that bothers me, but having to always explain the scar (people know I don’t have any kids), and the way the scar make my stomach look from my point of view (looking downward the scar itself is quite taught so it makes the skin on either side bulge out a bit and always make me look like I have more fat on my stomach than I really do).  I don’t at all thing my stomach looks fat or gross but when I see other people who I know are heavier than me, I still think their stomach looks better than mine simply because of that scar.

In the grand scheme of things this scar means nothing.  It, my nose and tooth – they are really are just vanity issues, which shouldn’t have any effect on my life – just as the bulk of your insecurities shouldn’t have any effect on your life either.  So what if you have stretch marks on your legs (I have those too), cellulite (who doesn’t!?), a bit of extra skin here or there, etc.  Don’t let that run your life.  I promise you years from now when you look back on your life you won’t say, “Man, I really wish I would have worried more about my stretch marks and kept them covered up,” chances are you’ll say, “May, I looked good! What did I ever worry about those stupid stretch marks!?”

So, to help you come to terms and overcome your insecurities, I am going to embrace mine and post a photo of my scar for the whole world to see.  The thing I try to keep covered from most everyone I am posting for literally anyone with an internet connection to look at.

excuse the crazy pants – this was taken last week after a Zumba class

So if I can do that, surely you can find the courage to wear a sleeveless shirt, a pair of shorts, and show whatever you’ve been hiding all this time.  It will be difficult at first, but before you know it you’ll wonder why you ever worried about it in the first place.

Join Me

I’d absolutely love it if you joined me in overcoming insecurities by commenting below or blogging about one of your own (you can choose if you want to add a photo or not – but I say go for it!!), once you put it out there I think you’ll find that you feel a better about it!